Dia de los Abuelos

Grammy and G-Boy were sick today, so we didn't get to have the special celebration we were planning in honor of Grandparent's Day. I've also been a little discombobulated lately, and not mentally in a good place to write the "homage" to them that I had planned to post today. So please go back and read what I wrote for their anniversary on August 22 (Celebrating Mr. & Mrs. Shaffer), and wait patiently for me to get back "on my game", at which time I will write something more fitting than this lame excuse.

Happy Grandparent's Day, Mom & Dad!

Feliz Dia de los Abuelos, Abuelito y Mamita!

Something About September

What is it about the change in seasons that seems to wreak havoc? One year ago I was tending to the needs of my ailing (dying) companion of 16 years, my beloved dog, Yuxia. So naturally, the coming of September has been, for me, tainted with a melancholy resurfacing of grief, compounded by the still-recent death of Tom, and the seems-like-yesterday-and-how-can-it-really-have-happened passing of my beloved "sister/mother", Aunt Bobbi.

I'm also a summer-lover, so I've always "mourned the passing of summer". But this year, it seems like the onset of fall has gotten to more people in my universe than usual. Julio's coworker (RB, mentioned in my post a couple days ago) took his own life. Then I learned on Friday that one of my favorite students, a smart, vivacious young person who seems to have the world by the horns, was hospitalized for depression. Another couple I am close to is having marital problems and may be headed for divorce.

Many who aren't being affected emotionally seem to be taking a physical hit. Harrison has already had a sick day this year, as has Deedee's stepson Alex. Grammy and G-Boy took ill this weekend, and of course our young warrior, Ben, continues to fight his battles (with the help of his Mommy and Daddy and baby brother). I caught some kind of "let's be exhausted all the time" bug, and finally gave up trying to sleep it off. Even the soprano in our praise band has been out for several weeks, fighting some kind of respiratory infection.

Well, at least I haven't been working on my wedding thank-you's lately, so I can't add all these recent dilemmas to the circumstantial-superstition-enforcing-evidence that working on anything related to our wedding causes trouble for my loved ones. (Unless planning times to work on the thank-you's when Julio can help counts as working on something related to the wedding...eep).

Like Father, Like Son

In January of 2007, we were at Mom and Dad's house at the same time Bobbi was visiting. She had brought over her new laptop, and Julio was "looking at it" while the rest of us talked. Then Bobbi glanced over at Julio and broke out laughing. He was sitting quietly in the corner, making faces at Bobbi's laptop. When we asked what he was doing, he confessed, with an embarrassed blush, that he was playing with the built-in webcam and photo software, to make ... self portraits. Harrison then got in on the action, and when they were finished, we saved the two "best" shots.

I just came across them as I was cleaning out one of my flash drives, and with so many people I'm close to having difficult times, I really felt like it was important to post these pictures, to cleanse our emotional palates.

So, these are my boys. I am so proud.

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The dolphins evacuate earth after trying to warn humans of the imminent destruction of the planet. Their parting words?

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

(click for song)

Those were the words on RB's email autoreply today.

During a meeting this morning, it was announced that RB had himself... evacuated the earth.

Perhaps he intended the lyrics of the the song at the beginning of the movie (based on the book by Douglas Adams) to be his parting message:

So long and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this
We tried to warn you all but oh dear

You may not share our intellect
Which might explain your disrespect
For all the natural wonders that
grow around you

So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish

The world’s about to be destroyed
There’s no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve

Despite those nets of tuna fleets
We thought that most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant women

So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish

I wonder if he felt invisible. Or maybe he felt false - that the person everybody thought they were seeing was a facade that he couldn't escape. What was it that made living just too hard or painful?

Nobody suspected that RB was contemplating suicide. Maybe they should have (we tried to warn you all but oh dear).

Could somebody have made a difference for him? Would a smile, or invitation to go out for drinks after work, have made him reconsider his plans? What was the "straw that broke the camel's back" for him - and who dropped it there?

It makes you wonder, as you go about your day, if you've unwittingly been the person to drop the straw, or if you've somehow managed to ease the load just in time. I don't know that I'm the type to be able to ease the load, but I'm going to try to be mindful to at least not drop the straw.

Labor Day

“Man, I hate Labor Day!” he snarled
then stalked back to his cubicle
to mourn the passing of summer
and I couldn’t help but wonder why it mattered.

Climate controlled buildings with no windows
don’t know weather.
Then I went for a walk on my lunch break,
and decided to experience the seasons.

I’m going to swim until the water is
warmer than the air
then I’m going to dig out my rollerblades
and wear down the wheels
and find out where to catch a hayride and
bob for apples while dressed as a ghoul.

I’m going to deep fry a turkey
and host the whole family
then put on my sweats for a game of
touch football in the yard
and see who can go highest in the swing before ejecting into a pile of waiting leaves

I’m going to learn to ice-skate
and build a massive snow fort
then go cross-country skiing
and have a caroling party
and greet the New Year from Times Square

I'm going to take a sleigh ride
in Vermont with my valentine
then come home to fly kites in an open field
and dance in the warm rain while hiding
colorful plastic surprise-filled eggs

Before I know it, long days of sunshine will return.
Then my friend can emerge from his cubicle
and brush up on his golf game
and finish working on his house,
maybe even enjoy some fireworks.

I grabbed a quick sandwich
on my way back to the office
then ate it at my desk while I
checked my voice mail, returned calls
and read the new email from my boss about mandatory overtime effective in September.

“Man I hate Labor Day!” I muttered to myself
then stalked to the copy machine as I
mourned the passing of summer.


© Copyright 2002 JB Wallace. All rights reserved.