It Is Finished

I finally got fed up enough to resign from North Cedar. With every show I've caught flak from the kids who didn't get the parts they wanted, along with dealing with kids whose parents didn't want them in anything at all. This year they added a new dimension. The kids who didn't like their roles were disruptive throughout the rehearsal process, quit, then complained that they didn't think I was nice enough to them when they quit. Then their parents got in on the act. I've been harassed and bullied via cell phone, internet, and at rehearsals. So I threw in the towel.

Mom is mad at me for letting down the kids who were not causing these problems, but you need to understand that those kids are the only reason I even tried to go back this year (same goes for last year). It has been a constant battle since the very first show, and it costs an average of $200 per show MORE than what I get paid to direct the show, once you add up my mileage and all the things I pay for without being reimbursed.

Will there be a Memorial Benefit this year? I don't know. If there is, will I be part of it? Also unclear.

I have been lambasted for suggesting they try advance ticket sales. Raked across the coals when I had to cancel callbacks due to the flooding in Cedar Rapids. There are about three kids who, along with their parents, don't despise me for not being Bobbi. And none of them steps up to defend me when somebody is backbiting me for not getting the speech kids to All-State (it's my fault they didn't bother to learn their lines or attend rehearsals). At the same time, I apparently had nothing to do with the total refurbishment of the facility, or the groups that DID make it to All State, or anything else positive that has happened over the last 3 years.

I am emotionally and physically exhausted, and the last straw was when two of my "project" students from last year decided to rally the troops and actively campaign for my ouster. (Guess who didn't get the parts they wanted in the musical - ironically, that was the music director's elmination, not mine - still, my fault). Did any of the "good kids" or their parents hasten to my defense? Not a single one.

So I'm done.

It's great to finally be free of the pressure that obligation was exerting on my life, and I can't wait to reconnect with my husband and son, who've gotten used to only seeing me about 4 hours a week, but I have to confess that I'm more than a little bitter that, rather than appreciate my extreme efforts to maintain and build on Bobbi's legacy, instead I'm reviled just because I'm not her. And I'm particularly resentful of the horrible way I've been treated by people who should have been grateful for the opportunities I worked to create for them.

I guess it's true what they say. No good deed...

Hey, at least maybe I'll be able to sleep through the night, now.