Christmas in a (HUGE) Nutshell

Ok, far too busy to write anything readable, so thought a slideshow would do for now - here's our Christmas (so far) in pictures:

Ho-Ho-Hoedown!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Walkin' in a Boogey Wonderland

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My sister-in-law had the genius idea of posting her Christmas letter to her blog. Since I never get my letter completed and mailed before the New Year (if at all), I decided to follow her lead.

I've been terribly disappointed in myself for not getting our wedding thank-you's completed and mailed, so you'll see references to that in the letter I'm posting here. Hopefully they WILL come out, even if not until our first anniversary (Pray it doesn't come to that!)

As usual, whenever I have a chance to sit down and play catch up, something else slams into our lives, and concerns of etiquette continually take a back seat to real life. Most recently it was the late night phone call last Friday, informing us that Julio's host parents, the Vauthrins, had been in a car accident which totalled their car. They walked away from the accident, but his host father, Lloyd (age 88) is scheduled for shoulder surgery on December 23, so we took that as a wake up call that we needed to make visiting them a priority.

We took the three day weekend we'd set aside to finish up our Christmas preparations (including Christmas letter/wedding thank-you's), and instead we made the 9 hour trip out to Nebraska. It was well worth the change in plans. We had a wonderful visit and got to meet their adopted daughter, Chris, and her family while we were there. We were also able to be there to provide moral support when Chris learned that her oldest son, Tyler (who lives with his father), has an inoperable brain tumor.

So anyway, here's the initial draft of what may or may not go out as our Christmas 2008 letter, (as it was when we got the late night call from Nebraska that sparked our last-minute trip):

Happy Holidays! At the end of April, when I said our wedding thank-you’s probably wouldn’t be done until they had to go out with our Christmas letters, I was joking at the time! Those of you who know me best probably knew better!

We did manage a lovely wedding, in spite of my emergency eye surgery at the end of March, and my primary focus directing the Spring play, which closed just 2 weeks before the wedding. Not to mention the contractors who were working until two days before, repairing ceiling damage from a leaky roof and clearing away huge tree limbs that were victims of the remarkably harsh 2007/08 winter weather.

Immediately after the wedding we went on a “familymoon” to Chicago with Julio’s father (“Abuelito”) and my parents (and Harrison, of course!) After a whirlwind tour of every sight we could squeeze into three days (Sears Tower, Shedd Aquarium, Chinatown, Museum of Science & Industry, Museum of Natural History, Adler Planetarium, and the Field Museum), we saw Abuelito off at the airport and raced up to Minnesota to meet my newborn niece, Anna. She was born just before our wedding, so Mom and Dad were “chomping at the bit” to get their first look at her ~ as were we!

Harrison finished his last few weeks of 4th grade at Kenwood elementary, where he continues to participate in the Program for Academic and Creative Talent (“PACT”), and started playing soccer with team Wolverines. Julio resumed work at Pearson in Iowa City, refereeing Harrison’s soccer games on weekends. Meanwhile, I had just three rehearsals to pull together the first annual Debbie Harms Memorial Benefit Concert, which took place on May 10, the one-year anniversary of Bobbi’s death, and what would have been her 57th birthday. Our cousin, Liz Varnum donated a beautiful handmade quilt that helped us raise thousands of dollars for a memorial scholarship fund.

As school wrapped up, we prepared for another summer of full-time daycare fun (field trips, activities, swimming and, naturally, shooting a Zombie movie written and directed by Harrison).

The melting snows of the harsh winter returned in the form of flooded rivers and torrential rain, causing unheard of damage in Cedar Rapids. We were blessed to have only groundswell in our basement, which forced us to throw out a lot of things we shouldn’t have been storing in the first place. If only everyone had fared so well! The theaters I grew up in (TCR and the Paramount) were ruined, as were most of our cultural landmarks and favorite fieldtrip destinations.

Sadly, as the floods were receding, our family experienced another heartbreaking loss with the passing of Mom’s cousin, Tom, which was all the more difficult because we lost him just months before the wedding of his son, Chuck, and daughter-in-law-to-be, Grace.

Summer flew by in a blur, as we coordinated the neighborhood 4th of July potluck, and later the Kid’s Carnival at the neighborhood pool. We enjoyed joining Chuck and Grace at their late-summer couple’s shower, which led the way to their lovely October wedding. We also discovered the monthly “public night” at the Eastern Iowa Observatory, where we’ve learned about the Milky Way, Jupiter, Star Clusters, and the Science of Star Trek, among other things.

School was back in session before we knew it, and while Harrison’s class had a difficult time with the new 5th grade teacher and her less-than-stellar student teacher, Julio’s work intensified, causing him to work longer hours than usual.

Harrison’s unpleasant classroom situation pulled me into doing more volunteer work at the school, starting a reward program for students who achieve certain classroom goals. When the reward program was combined with specials, recess and the PACT program, things started looking up for Harrison and his classmates.

The fall musical, Bye Bye Birdie, was fraught with setbacks, but as with other roadblocks of the year, we overcame them thanks to the dedication and hard work of a great group of volunteers. It was over just in time for us to prepare our home to host the annual Shaffer Thanksgiving Extravaganza, though I admit I was sidetracked by preparations for the upcoming speech season.

We actually managed to hang our Christmas lights before the cold weather struck this year, and rehearsals have been snowed out just often enough for us to get our Christmas trees up, but not completely decorated yet.

A couple weeks ago, we added a new family member: a one-year old dog we call Zuki (short for Azucar, which is Spanish for Sugar, the name she had when we adopted her). She is a beautiful dog who came from a shelter in Iowa City, where they guessed her to be part Collie, and possibly part Samoyed and Golden Retriever. We never entertained any hope of finding a dog like Yuxia, so you can imagine our amazement that Zuki is almost exactly the same in personality and temperament that Yuxia was at her age. She’s our Christmas miracle in another year filled with opportunities to seek a silver lining.

We hope this holiday greeting finds you and your family enjoying all the blessings of the season, and we thank you all again for your love and support throughout our long-time-in-coming, long-time-before-being-thanked nuptial process!

Celebrating Dad

photo by Harrison

My Dad is another year older today, and doesn't it just figure for men that another year older is an accomplishment to celebrate rather than (as for us women) another step further from youth!

My brothers and I agree that of all our friends growing up, we had the coolest Dad. He performed in shows with us - at TCR as well as at the high school. He was one of the few parents who could hang out with me and my friends and not feel like a chaperone (which made him a top-notch chaperone!)

Dad taught me some awesome steps when I had to choreograph partnering dance moves for show choir. For some reason, many people are surprised to find out he's a great dancer. I remember jaws dropping when he joined the younger members of the Big River cast during the clogging section of the finale. More recently, when we were having an impromptu salsa lesson in the living room, Julio was so amazed at Dad's grace, he blurted out "Why Grampa, you're a feather!"

As the boys and I were growing up, Dad never missed a performance or game, whether we were soloists/superstars or just in the chorus/warming the bench. Dad was always there cheering us on and making sure we had every opportunity he could provide.

When I was in college and called home upset about one or another of my young-adult heartbreaks, I knew I could count on Dad to say "put your feet in first position", dredging up memories of an old Hallmark ad - and making me laugh and cry simultaneously. Then he would quickly say "let me hand you over to your mother", unless the problem was something that actually could be fixed, in which case he would always have a solution.

Naturally, his superior parenting skills have carried over into his role as "G-Boy". Dad and Harrison are "best buds", and have already built a lifetime worth of golden memories together. G-boy is always good for a living room wrestling match, or a Playstation Showdown. In the summertime, all the neighborhood kids shout "Yay! Grampa's coming swimming" the minute they see him making his way down the hill to the neighborhood pool. Dad & Harrison went to Bear Scouts Camp, butterfly tagging, and they've recently taken up fishing (in summertime, that is). They've worked on countless projects, from sewing handpuppets to building pinewood derby cars, from gardening to whittling.

I could go on about my awesome Dad forever, but I've got to get Brownies out of the oven and wrap his gifts so we can go celebrate with him in person. So for now, I'll end with this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! You're the best Dad any kid could ever ask for, and the best G-Boy, too!

Some Scenes from Today

Creche in Daylight

Homework Time

through the laundry room window

Zuki waits on the landing

Equal Rights - not just a skin tone issue

Today I am "calling in Gay". I am not going to spend a penny or participate in commerce in any fashion. This is a movement to demonstrate solidarity with those who are seeking to have the same rights to marry that many of us take for granted.

My cousin Kate & her spouse, Trish, spent yesterday at a hearing before the Iowa Supreme Court, fighting for their right to be recognized as married.

It sickens me that in this "new millenium" such a travesty of justice is even still going on. I just can't understand the objections. We're not talking about forcing churches to perform the ceremonies, and it's not like there are a bunch of people in straight marriages who will "jump ship and go gay" if only the law were changed. In fact, legalizing gay marriage will make absolutely NO difference for anybody except those who are already living as married couples, but without the rights and legal protections they deserve, simply because their spouse is of the same gender.

Why do people who label themselves as Christians (I don't expect to meet any of these people in my heaven!) continue to battle so vehemently against this one group of humans, claiming they are "defending" marriage in the interest of "our children", yet they don't make a peep about divorce or out-of-wedlock childbirth, or people who choose not to get married, because let's face it, there are a lot of financial advantages to staying single?

The fact that they have chosen to single out homosexuals, and turn a blind eye to other lifestyle choices which do far more damage to the "institution" they claim to be defending is proof that they are simply behaving in an ignorant and homophobic manner. How ridiculous! How pathetic! How sad that there are so many of them. Really, how frightening.

I have a lot more to say on the issue, but sadly, the people who will understand my writing are not the ones who need to be convinced. You can't use logic to reason against the illogical excuses of the unreasonable.

It's BEGINNING to look a lot like...

...I am out of my mind.

When we moved into our new house, I was concerned about how we would decorate for Christmas. I'd spent my adult years as an apartment dweller, and Julio never had done much to decorate his own small abodes. So we weren't overflowing with decorations in the first place, and what little we did have looked chincy in our considerably larger and lovelier new home. - Not to mention the fact that, when he was about 4, Harrison had done an acrobatic leap from the arm of the sofa to the center of the sofa, catapulting himself from there directly into the Christmas tree (you know how this looked if you've seen "Elf" starring Will Farrell). From that point forward, we had to lean the tree in a corner or it wouldn't stand on its own.

Julio & I decided that our first Christmas gift to each other in our new home would be specially selected Christmas decorations. We planned and shopped, "designed" and shopped, and spent more than I thought we would, but I was happy with the results. About the same time, Mom and Dad down-/up-graded from their big lush artificial tree to one that was smaller but pre-lit and easily assembled and easier to store. We had room to store their big one, and it was the perfect size for our vaulted-ceiling living room. My friend Sandy, hearing that my original (and much smaller and cheaper) tree was broken, gave us a similar (nicer and not broken) tree she used at work before moving to Singapore. Then at an after-Christmas sale last year, I found replacement parts for the broken tree for only a couple dollars. Add to these three trees the small kid's tree I got for Harrison's room about 8 years ago, and we now have 4 Christmas trees. That may seem excessive to most sane Christians, but they've all become indispensable for us.

The large beautiful tree is a critical centerpiece for our main living room. It holds our "best brand new" ornaments that we got when we moved here, and whenever we are able to assemble the largest possible group of Harms family members, we hang memorial bows on it, in a tradition started by Nana after Opa passed away.

The small kid's tree is the only one with the old-fashioned multi-colored lights, and the home-made, fun and funky ornaments that remind me of my childhood.

The tree Sandy gave us now stands on the upper level landing. It is decorated in purple and silver, with angel ornaments. On Christmas Eve, Mom and Dad join us and we each add an angel ornament that used to belong to Nana, in honor of Nana and all of our loved ones who are no longer with us (like the Bows on the red-decorated tree, except we do this every Christmas Eve, with whoever is there with us that evening).

In our living room by the bay window, we have what has been dubbed "the Bobbi tree". It is ornamented in silver, white and gold, with collars Bobbi kept from all her pets, and handmade ornaments crafted from a bunch of pet tags (rabies vaccination tags, etc.) she also kept. The finishing touch on this tree are ornaments Mom made: small framed photos of all the family pets. A framed picture of Bobbi hangs near the tree top, as if she is looking out for all her "critters" and the rest of us who always depended on her.

We are not quite finished with our decorating, but we do have all four trees assembled, and the Bobbi tree is pretty well decorated. The next few posts will include more pictures as our progress continues.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other

Happy Holidays! Had to have something that's ok for the kiddies to watch!!!

Prop 8 - The Musical

NOTE: this is a clever video, but not for kids.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Oh Yeah - About Thanksgiving

With all the dog news, I overlooked the semi-requisite recap of our Thanksgiving Holiday festivities! Thursday we followed our since-we-moved-into-our-house tradition of dining on Hy-Vee catered prime rib. We didn't have extra guests this year, though, because our friends Ben & Karen scored us 5 tickets to the Sound of Music preview performance at TCR Lindale. A pretty large scale production to produce on a makeshift stage, but they pulled it off (due in no small part to the brilliant scenic design of my friend Bret).

Mike Wilhelm (Captain VonTrapp), Amy Friedl Stoner (Maria), Heather Harris Akers (Frau Schroeder) & Kids from TCR's Sound of Music

Unfortunately, Dad got sick during the first act and Julio took him home at intermission, so he didn't get to see the second act. Mom and the rest of us went home for pie after the show, then we all hit the sack.

Friday was our frantic house-cleaning day, in preparation for the annual Shaffer Thanksgiving blowout, hosted by my parents using our house as the "venue". This year we were expecting anywhere from 15 to 35 people (I think we landed at about 27 who actually attended). It's a stressful time, but that's what it takes to get me to excavate our house once a year, so it's well worth it! Not to mention how nice it is to have everybody together at least once a year.

It was especially rewarding this year, as John was able to bring his entire family (weren't sure they were going to be able to come, because Karen had to work that day - but they sacrificed sleep to be here), and Jason and family were here for several days, which gave us a chance to reconnect with their adorable kids. Ben impressed us all with his amazing agility - if you didn't know he'd just had spinal surgery 10 days prior, you'd never have guessed. He was moving around like a champ, and did a great job keeping up with the 10 year olds as well as the 3 and 4 year olds (he was also a great sport about being the only 6 year old in attendance).

Unfortunately I was so tired this year, I didn't get the full experience - spent most of the time trying to stay awake but it was all a blur (the stuff dreams are made of...I think...) So my memories are fuzzy - but I do recall snapping some photos. Here are a few of them:

Not Noah

What a day. Harrison spent last night at Deedee's house, so he wasn't with us when we met Jason & family at the Longbranch for brunch. It was nice to get to see them once more before they headed home, and the great news is, we're hoping everybody will be together again in 4 weeks (weather and work schedules permitting, that is!)

Just as the "Shaffers South" were driving off, we got a call from Deedee that Harrison was ready to come home, so we picked him up and came home to decompress and watch "Journey to the Center of the Earth". Harrison loved it - so much so, that he wanted to watch it again right away. We pursuaded him to watch our new copy of "Wall-E", instead, and Julio decided to run to the mall and get some smoothies for us. As we finished watching the special short feature, "Burn-E", I decided to call the shelter and see if Noah was back from his vacation. He was, and the lady I spoke to said we had a VERY good application, and if we wanted to come see him, we would be allowed to bring him home with us today.

Well, that's all Harrison & I needed to hear! Julio wasn't quite as enthusiastic to learn we could bring a dog home with us today. He was planning on visiting, coming home and mulling it over a little more before making such a big decision. So, on the 45 minute drive over there, we discussed all the added responsibilities of getting a new dog, including cleaning up after him, etc.

We finally found the shop, after first passing it in the dark snowy weather. We had to park across the street in a parking ramp, extending our anticipation even longer. Finally we were in the store and the moment we'd been waiting for since Wednesday seemed about to happen! We approached the lady at the front desk, mildly giddy but trying not to look like crazy people unworthy of dog ownership. We told her we were there to meet Noah, and she got a strange look on her face.

She went on to tell us that she didn't think Noah would be a good fit for us. As we were on our way over, she was reviewing our adoption application and Noah's paperwork. She noticed that the pound where he'd come from had performed a "temperament test", but that their office hadn't conducted one, yet, so while we were on the road, she was conducting their test. Apparently what they do is, they give the dog a toy and when he is interested in the toy, they slip a fake hand by it - Noah failed the test. He growled and then bit the fake hand. They said they didn't think it would be a good idea to bring him to our home, when we have kids Harrison's age there for much of the day.

She said we could still meet him, but that she had some other dogs that she thought would be a better fit for our family. As she led us back to the kennels, my heart sank. How could I explain to this woman that we weren't looking for just any dog - we needed to find our dog - the one we are meant to be with?

We got back there, and Noah was finishing dinner, so she couldn't get him out of his kennel just then. She pointed out a sweet brown dog named Bugsy, but he was part Pit-Bull, and I have a concern that as he got older, he might revert to instinctive behavior, which for his breed is not great around kids. She started telling me about another dog, but I saw the most beautiful golden dog who at first glance looked like a chow, but she turned out to be a one-year-old mixed breed - they think she's part Collie, part Golden Retriever and part Samoyed.

They got her out of her Kennel, and she came straight up to Harrison and me, nuzzled us and kissed us each on the nose. Julio was just getting in from going back to the car for the leash we brought, and when he saw her, his face switched from "we can't be bringing a dog home now - we just got the house cleaned, for crying out loud" to "ok, a kennel, a big bag of premium dog food, a seventeen-dollar hair brush, matching collar and leash - does she need anything else? Let me go get the car ready so she'll have a comfortable ride home!".

In other words, she had him at Hello.

We watched her interact with other animals, and she behaved just like Yuxia would have - a little timid around anything smaller than her, and determined to befriend anybody she could. A cat came strutting up to her, and she nuzzled the cat and gave it a lick on the head.

I was feeling very guilty to love this dog so much, when we were there for Noah, not her. So I asked if we could please see Noah, before we made any decisions. Noah came springing out of his kennel, determined to make for the door and completely uninterested in any of the humans in his wake. His hair was coarse and not pleasant to pet, and he was very hyper to the point of being unpleasant. Go figure.

So we decided Noah's purpose in our life was to lead us to our real dog, much the same way that a small stray black lab opened the door for me to adopt Yuxia...but that's a different (if similar) tale.

Family and friends, meet our new pack member: Sugar (Azucar, or Zuki for short)

(PS - Thanks, John, for getting the ball rolling again for us - can't wait to hear about the new pack member destined to join your family soon!)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thanksgiving Break Day 3: All About DOGS

Julio had the day off today! He and Harrison began the day by sleeping in, then we met Deedee and her kids for an early lunch at BK, let the kids play in their play area for an hour, then went to the 1pm showing of Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

There were a bunch of adorable dogs in the movie, which almost made up for the complete and utter lack of storyline or clever dialogue. Then we got home and I checked up on family blogs, and read that John and Karen are looking to expand their pack.

John's blog had a link to http://www.petfinder.com/, and I of course could not resist checking it out, as I have so often since Yuxia died (was that already a year ago last September?). Unlike all those past visits, I came across a profile so compelling it gave me the same feeling I had when I first met Yuxia back in 1992. After talking it over with Julio and Harrison, we decided to submit an adoption application for Noah.

We called the shelter, and it turns out Noah's foster parent decided to take him out of town for the holidays, so we won't have a chance to meet him in person until Monday or Tuesday. Say a prayer and wish us luck - we may have a new family member by Christmas - will it be Noah? Right now we hope so!

Thanksgiving Break Day 2: Build-A-Bear

Today we met Julio for lunch at the Mall near his office. After lunch, he walked us over the the Build-A-Bear Workshop, where Harrison made a Zebra named "Impmon" and Abbie made a Bear named "Snowball". We had a super time, though Harrison was a little melancholy about being a boy, because "girls can enjoy stuffed animals clear into high school, but it's not cool for boys to like them by the time they're 10...no, I mean, like 13...."

Thanksgiving Break Day 1: Planet X

School is out all week, which means it's field trip time! Harrison and Abbie are my only two kids this week, so we have more options open to us than usual for field trips. Today we went to Planet X, and did just about everything they had to offer.

I'm exhausted, but need to gear up for our Speech Kickoff Meeting at 7 tonight. I hope I can stay awake for the drive! *Yawn*

Not Over Yet?

So the California Supreme Court is going to review legal challenges to the recently voter-approved Proposition 8, and are expected to address the proposition itself as well as how it would affect the thousands of legally-performed gay marriages that took place prior to the voter ban.

I just don't get it. At least as concerns the marriages that took place when it was legal, what's to address? It was legal for them to be married when they got married, so they are married. You don't get to retroactively make it illegal! Of course, I'm boggled at the idea of telling two consenting adults, both of whom desire to be married, that their marriage is not legal because it is counter to the paradigms of some (not even all) churches.

I'm embarrassed to be part of this moment in history. Our children and grandchildren are going to look back on these arguments and shake their heads and roll their eyes the way we do when we look back at the bigotry of the 40's and 50's. I hope some serious changes happen soon, mostly in the interest of so many of my friends and family members, but also so we are not limited to pointing to a black president as our only source of pride in our current stage of "enlightenment".

BEN IS HOME!!!

Great news - Ben is home from the hospital, and pretty darn mobile for somebody who just had surgery on his spine. Now we need prayers for further healing - they won't know for a couple months if the surgery will result in reversal of the difficulties he developed before his condition was properly diagnosed. So PRAY HARD!

Happily Married

I love my husband. I can't imagine getting through some of the events of the last couple of years without him at my side. What I can imagine even less is how it would feel for people who've never even met me to step in and make it illegal for me to marry him, because he is from Guatemala. Or because he is Catholic and I'm Presbyterian.

I'm so lucky that the fact he was born with dark hair and brown eyes does not make it illegal for him to marry a blonde haired, blue eyed woman.

Even the fact that we waited until our son was 10 years old before we chose to enter the covenant of marriage was not held against us, by our church, our neighbors, or our government.

If we were to decide marriage was not for us, and thus get divorced, we would simply go through the process. Since neither of us is a celebrity, the only people who would even care would be our family. Certainly we would not be reviled by anybody for paying such disrespect to the institution of marriage.

It probably wouldn't occur to most people to try to pass a law preventing our divorce, and they certainly wouldn't spend a bunch of money campaigning to convince the rest of the neighborhood (city/county/state/country/world) that our marriage and/or divorce was in any way a threat to their own marriages.

Unfortunately, I have loved ones, friends, fellow Christians, and fellow Americans who can't say the same about the relationship they have with their chosen mate.

My friend Jake recently put it far more eloquently than I ever could. Whatever your current opinion of "Gay Marriage" (I add the quotes, because I never refer to mine as a "Heterosexual Marriage". When two become one, that's marriage, plain and simple), I encourage you to read what Jake has to say on the matter. (warning: some adult language; don't read this to your kids without editing!)

click here for Jake's thoughts on Prop. 8

We have a black president-elect. That's a good start. Now if only we could find a way to keep from disenfranchising any other Americans just for being the people they were born to be.

Bye Bye Birdie is HISTORY

I'm relieved to announce that our fall musical, Bye Bye Birdie is over - and I hereby swear, before all witnesses present, that I will never again subject myself to that show, regardless of circumstance (with the only caveat being if Harrison should end up involved with it somehow).

This particular production was fraught with trouble, further securing my conviction that the show itself is jinxed.

We had strange problems with students all along the way. Several kids, who last year were healthy and happy, showed up this year weighing nearly twice what they weighed last year, with attitudes that had deteriorated as badly as their health.

It was virtually impossible to get kids to show up on time for rehearsal, and both Deedee and I struggled with small groups of students who were seriously ADHD and apparently not medicated for the last part of the day.

Over the course of things, we had to kick out one performer, put another on probation, and several techies were kicked out or just stopped showing up, in at least one case because her dad decided she was done - with no explanation or apology.

Our student director lost her best friend to suicide early in the season, and basically checked out for the rest of our production time. She never even learned her own lines and blocking, let alone doing any actual student directing.

All but about 5 of our 60 students had some kind of problem going on in their families or with them personally. I spent more time counseling than directing this fall.

The auditorium was continually invaded by other groups during the day. Middle school football players and coaches even left their gear on the stage, on our set pieces, behind the closed curtain. Two weeks before the show opened, somebody wrecked half our set - walked on it, ripped cardboard pieces, set us back two weeks.

That sent Deedee over the edge, as she was already behind in construction. She had a major meltdown in front of the kids and the middle school principal. It was all I could do to not have my own meltdown, but the kids needed somebody to pull it together for them, so I had to put it off for the time being.

I had one pair of parents send me scathing emails when I sent a message to the students reminding them to vote early. Because of the damage to our set and the attention I had to pay to tech needs, we had to schedule rehearsal on election day.

I got reemed out by the parents of the girl who was already on probation for coming late and having serious attitude problems all through rehearsal. She didn't show up for 2 of the last 3 rehearsals and made no effort to contact me to tell me she was sick. (All the kids know the final week of rehearsals are mandatory and absence means automatic removal from the show.)

She then showed up to the final dress rehearsal, shocked to learn she had been kicked out of the show. That resulted in her parents storming into rehearsal a short time later, chewing me out in front of the cast and crew, her father using foul langage at the top of his lungs. Deedee had to take over the first hour and a half of rehearsal so I could get them to leave, meaning she lost her last chance to work on tech stuff.

Since September, Deedee and I had been pleading with the administration to fix the leaky roof which was pouring rain onto our sound/light boards, flowing over one of our suspended speakers down onto the entryway, where it was literally gushing down the entryway ramp.

They didn't fix the roof until late in October, and didn't inspect our electronics boards until the weekend before the show opened. By then it was too late, and anybody who was at Sunday's matinee (naturally the show that was taped) will tell you, it was a disaster. Imagine watching a show with no sound except what you can hear through an underwater cellphone that cuts in and out every other word. Then add to that an ear-piercing explosion of feedback every 15-20 minutes.

Deedee had put in her notice when the set was destroyed, so she wasn't particularly motivated to spend a lot of extra effort striking the set, so I had to recruit some enthusiastic parents to help oversee things, and redo the storage of big items, which the kids had just been dumping into our small storage room.

After strike, one of our "trouble techies" was sitting backstage doing nothing. I started to storm over and demand to know why he wasn't helping with strike, when I noticed he was crying. Turns out his Dad had promised to come to the show, then didn't show up and wasn't answering his phone. In one heart wrenching moment I got a lot of insight into that kid's attitude problems.

I've never been so overwhelmed and shocked by the sheer numbers of parents who so publicly demonstrate that they don't care about their children enough to even pretend to put their best interests first. No wonder the kids don't know how to demonstrate responsibility or work ethics.

I can't remember ever having such an unpleasant experience working on a show, and it's truly a struggle to try to motivate myself to continue forward with this program. It costs more than what I get paid, and it so far has just made me stressed out and miserable.

On the up side, Mom and Dad made some buttons using the face of our Conrad Birdie, and the last two nights of the show, we sold them to the audience for $1 and had Conrad autograph them at intermission. We made an extra $50 for the new curtain fund. Thanks, Mom & Dad!

Prayers for Ben

On August 24, I wrote a tribute to my nephew, Ben.

I had to read it again tonight, after his mom, Jenny, made her most recent blog entry about Ben's trip to the neurosurgeon.

There is so little I can add to either entry, except a call for everyone to keep Ben and his entire family in their prayers: for healing, for peace, and for God's purpose to present itself soon.

Saluting McCain

Senator McCain was very presidential in his concession speech last night, and I couldn't help but wonder what shape our world would be in today if he'd been granted the opportunity to run for President eight (or even four) years earlier.

While I register as an independent voter, and back up that independence by voting all over the board - for the person rather than the party - I've always fancied myself a potential "McCain Republican". A McCain-Powell ticket would have been irresistible for me, even in the wake of the Bush administration.

Which is why I was saddened to watch this great patriot give his concession speech for an office I spent decades praying he would occupy. Only a man of John McCain's caliber could win so much support in the shadow of our current administration. Only John McCain could make this such a close race.

It was a melancholy moment when I cast my vote for Obama. Finally I had my chance to vote for McCain, but could not do so in good conscience. In voting for Obama, I voted for the man and not the party. But in deciding against McCain, I was voting away from a party/administration which I feel has treated our country and our planet with increasing contempt over the past 8 years.

I believe our country is blessed to have reached this moment in history, and to have had two such outstanding Americans for our candidates. And I believe John McCain will continue to make contributions to our country which will rival and exceed those of most who were successful in their bid for President.

As a McCain Republican who supported Obama, I can neither fully celebrate or mourn the election results of 2008. But I can fully celebrate the promise for our future that comes from having both of these fine men working on our behalf.

NO PARKING-GHOULS ONLY

As my brothers and I slowly outgrew the trick-or-treating process, our Halloween tradition became haunting our house for trick-or-treaters. After I left for college, the folks "handed off" our haunting gear to the High School, and they made $1500 charging $1 admission, so it was pretty successful.

When we moved back to the old "haunting grounds", it stood to reason that we should resume haunting. We started about 4 years ago, using Grammy & G-Boys' basement as our staging area, with daycare kids joining HD, Julio, the grands and me in making a "Haunted Daycare". Then when we bought our house, the huge garage opened a lot of possibilities.

Deedee helped me establish the first haunted garage about 3 years back - she scored us some huge cardboard boxes that we still use for walls. Last year we gathered more cardboard, and the daycare kids painted scary pictures on them. This year, with Halloween landing on Friday, Harrison invited some friends for an overnight party. We started out right after school, setting up the garage and having pizza, then Julio took the kids trick-or-treating while Grammy, G-boy and I took care of final touches.

When Julio & the kids got back, we haunted the garage for an hour and a half (we ended up "staying open" late to accommodate all our guests!).

After debriefing and some cold pizza, Grammy & G-boy headed home, and the boys went upstairs to watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas" while Julio & I watched "Sixth Sense".

All in all, we had a spooktacular evening (forgive me one pun)!

JACK (AND JILL) -O-LANTERNS

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Last night we had our traditional "pumpkin carving party" with Grammy & G-Boy. The results are posted above (Largest to smallest, they are the work of: Julio, Stephanie, G-Boy, Harrison). Grammy snapped photos and made fudge while the rest of us carved. I got my less elaborate Jill-o-lantern done first, and had time to snap a couple photos myself:

As we were cleaning up, Harrison cracked up laughing, then called Julio over to the sink. "Come here, Dad! Wanna see my pumpkin throw up!?!" (picture below)

It was a late night, but much fun was had by all.

I Voted

I run a "reward program" for Harrison's class once a week; it's an incentive tool for his teacher to use as encouragement for kids to behave and get their homework done, etc. Basically, I go in and play some kind of semi-educational game with the students who have received a "star" for the week, then once a month (or every month & a half) I do a more extensive project/program for anyone who gets 4 or more stars.

When the program was done today, I checked Harrison out of school so he could come with me to vote. I always take him with me when I vote; when he gets old enough, I want him to be very comfortable with the process, so he won't hesitate to exercise his own right to vote.

We picked up Grammy and G-Boy and headed to the county auditor's office (temporary headquarters at the mall on the other side of town, since their downtown building is still in flood-recovery mode). There was a good-sized line outside the door, but they were very well organized and it didn't take long to get through the line to cast our ballots.

Once we had all voted, we stopped at the Chik-Fill-A (sp?) for lunch, then took Harrison back to school. On the way back to school, we talked about the process to make sure he understood each step along the way. Mission accomplished.

Have you voted yet?

Why Women Should Vote

I have to confess, after feeling like my vote counted far less than those of a small group of people in Florida back in 2000, and being a busy person who doesn't do well with standing in line or being near large groups of people (unless they are in the audience and I have the safety of an orchestra pit and the anonymity of playing a character between me and them), it is always a project to motivate myself to get out and vote.

If you are like me, you should Netflix or rent the movie Iron Jawed Angels.

Suffice it to say, I will continue to do what needs to be done to motivate my way across town and mark that ballot, out of gratitude to the women who sacrificed more than I would have been willing to sacrifice so that even the politically ambivalent have a right to be heard.

Champion Costume Designer

Harrison has a way with Halloween costumes.

His first winning costume was Peter Pan a few years back, which won the top prize at the safe Halloween party sponsored by Usher's Ferry. That was a tough one, as he was very specific about how it should look, and nixed the first couple attempts before it was exactly the costume he wanted.

Then two years ago, he made a Shamu mask at cubscouts, and we built a costume around it which won the grand champion award at the pack's costume contest.

Now this year, his original creation "the Scarer Crow" won the prize for most original costume at the all-school Harvest Hop.

Congratulations, Harrison!

Can you help me costume the musical???

Everything I needed to know I learned from a 5th grader

Working on preparations for our upcoming musical last night, I wasn't paying much attention to the television. After a round of political ads, Harrison turned to me and said, "If I ever run for president, I'm not going to waste any money on ads to say bad things about the other guy. I'm just going to use my ads to tell people about why I should be the president, and my plans to make the country better."

Then we came up with a strategy whereby as voters, we would decide who to vote for based on the high-mindedness of their campaigns. We will go one step further than voting on the issues. To counteract the "damage" negative ads cause their opponents through influencing the "ignorant masses", each negative ad will count against the candidate who "approves this message", and we will make a point to vote for their opponent, regardless of party affiliation.

At first we decided only to vote for candidates who don't use any negative campaign tactics - but then we just wouldn't vote...how sad.

We're also going to vote for candidates who are smart enough to do the job, even if they think they are better than us. From what I've seen, even the politicians who pander to us soccer moms think they are better than the general public. (To be honest, I find it insulting to be referred to as "guys and gals" by a public official. "Ladies and gentlemen" is far more respectful and less patronizing. My grandfather was a farmer in a small town who built his farm into a million-dollar operation without benefit of a college degree. He was never a "guy". He was a gentleman.) I WANT somebody smarter and better than me leading this country! If a plumber can't identify with him or her, I'm good with that.

For me, the most important value my leaders need to have is the courage of their convictions, and the integrity to stand up for their positions even if it is not the politically safe move to make. Both presidential candidates can point to evidence of such courage in their political histories. From my perspective, one is better positioned to continue with such conviction than the other - who has only recently switched focus to "playing the game", ironically with considerable success.

My goal for the upcoming election is to have an administration and leadership in place that will improve America's reputation world-wide, and make our country less of an international punchline. Luckily, both Presidential candidates are capable of making that happen, so no matter what we hear in the news on November 5, it won't be as jaw-dropping or stomach twisting as the last two elections were.

I'm Baaaaaack - sort of!

Thanks to my heroic husband, I have my own PC back up and running - and lost a minimal amount of data. Thank you, Julio - I love you!

Also, thanks to my generous father, who loaned me his laptop for a week longer than either of us expected, I was able to keep up with my emails and communications to the school.

Bye Bye Birdie opens in just over two weeks - sounds like a lot of time, but we can only have rehearsals on Monday Tuesday and Thursday, so really there are just 6 rehearsals left. Also, next Monday and Tuesday the school has conferences until 8pm, so we won't have a music director or accompaniment until about 8:30 each of those evenings...and we're not allowed to rehearse past 10pm for any reason. So, things are tight. As usual.

We had a weird evening tonight. I got a Facebook announcement from TCR this morning, saying they needed help tonight to fill 500 goodie bags for the Rocky Horror Show, which opens this Friday (they had 1500 done, 500 to go). So Mom and Dad came over for an early soup and sandwich dinner, and we all headed over to "TCR Lindale" (temporary theater they've created out of a nearby building which used to be a movie theater, then was a dance club, but has been sitting vacant for over a year). Turns out, the message was issued YESTERDAY, but for some reason, Facebook didn't post it to the group until this morning. They got all the bags filled last night, so Harrison missed out on his first non-performing volunteer opportunity at TCR. *sigh*

So after Dad & I greeted the few people we still know who are at the theater (Damon, Laurie, Diana, Casey, Dave...wow there were a lot of new faces there!) we headed to Perkins for pie. We had just started our sugar-fest when the woman who had been working the front counter came over and invited herself to join us...

Harrison and I were only slightly less befuddled by this turn of events than Mom, Dad and Julio. She is the mother of a boy Harrison goes to school with. He and Harrison were in the same class a couple years ago, and I've seen her at school functions a couple times (whereas Mom, Dad and Julio had no idea who she was and thus assumed she was some old friend of mine). She sat and regaled us with tales of her trouble at work, problems with her 7-year-old who had to be taken away by police and put in some facility for troubled children, her high score in science when she took the GED, and her desire to somehow persuade local big businesses to start a science fair.

I asked who was watching her kids tonight while she worked (hint hint). She kept talking. Julio made a show of getting up to go pay the bill. On she talked. Dad announced that he and Mom had to get going and left. She stayed seated and chattered away. Finally Harrison asked if we could go to Grammy & Grampa's to play a game, and I said "Oh, it's getting late honey - it's practically bedtime. We've got to get you home." She agreed it was getting late, and followed me toward the door, wanting me to wait until she could find a piece of paper to give me her phone number - I frantically offered to store it in my cell phone instead, and we escaped with our lives, driving straight to Grammy & Grampa's to apologize for having our nice quiet pie outing hijacked.

Now it is bedtime. More thoughts and anecdotal moments later...

Life Keeps Poundin' a Rhythm to the Brain...

So the poodle skirt workshop took almost FIVE hours (I had guessed two hours, tops). I missed the Eagle Scout ceremony entirely, which might have been just as well, since I was tired from no sleep on Friday and could very easily have embarrassed myself during the "small talk" portion of the reception.

Harrison had a sleepover at his friend Avery's house on Friday - I don't think they slept at all, because according to Julio, Harrison fell asleep while putting on his soccer uniform. When I got home from the poodle skirt "ordeal", Harrison was half-napping/half watching TV wrapped in towels after having showered. We barely got cleaned up and dressed in time to make it to Grace and Chuck's wedding.

The wedding was lovely - Grace's four sisters were her bridesmaids, and Chuck had good friends stand with him. The tiny little ring bearer was carried down the aisle - I didn't realize they made tuxes so small!

Kate and Patricia each did a reading and one of Grace's sisters sang a beautiful anthem during the lighting of the unity candle. They had a vase of white lilies in memory of Tom. The reception was held at the Art Museum - I was astounded at how they transformed the library area into a gorgeous reception hall.

It was very elegant, with everything from a candy bar to an ice sculpture which fascinated Harrison ("It was so cool, I just had to touch it!" he confessed on the way home).

We survived church on Sunday morning (I had to give the children's sermon, and Julio handled computers for Sunday School) and decided to eat out since we were too tired to fix our own lunch. Then we stopped by Lindale Mall to a special dinosaur exhibit they have, which was provided to the Science Station to help raise funds to rebuild. Bill Demarais (a friend of Dad's - they taught at the same school for over 30 years each) was giving a free presentation about dinosaur tracks & fossils - it was very entertaining and educational. Since today is a half-day of school, I'll be taking the daycare kids there this afternoon. If I have a chance, I'll write on that later...

Ok, well, that's our update for now. My PC is at the computer doctor's to get backed up and repaired after coming down with its very own virus, so I borrowed Dad's laptop - but he's home now and I'll be returning it to him this afternoon, so I don't know what kind of computer access I'll have for the next little bit... sigh. Well, I'd rather lose a computer than any more loved ones!

Something's going around, I guess

It must be my turn to have PC issues. Julio has spent the last few nights trying to fix things, but it's going to be slow going. In the meantime, Dad let me borrow his laptop while he and Mom visit Jason & family.

Harrison has ITBS testing this week (along with soccer practice & games), rehearsals for Bye Bye Birdie continue unabated (and are much more pleasant, since I finally had enough and removed one of our less mature cast members from the show), and Julio was able to resolve a problem in one of the systems at work which had him working several hours of overtime every day (just in time to come home and fix MY computer trouble!)

This coming weekend is packed. Saturday morning, I have to go to Clarence for a "poodle skirt workshop" - Aunt Chris is graciously volunteering her time to come and teach our kids how to make their own skirts for the show. Hopefully we'll get done in time for me to grab some lunch before heading over to Lowden for the Eagle Scout ceremony of one of my students (hey - anybody out there know if you're supposed to bring a card and/or gift to an Eagle Scout ceremony?) While I'm there, Julio will be taking Harrison to a soccer game, and we'll meet up with Grammy and G-Boy that evening, for the Wedding of Chuck & Grace, followed by a reception at the Art Museum. Sometime in there I'll need to come up with a children's sermon for church on Sunday. I think after church (where I'm also singing, and Julio is running computers for Sunday School), we will have a DAY OF REST.

It sure is nice to be this busy with all positive things (that is, except for these darn computer problems!).

Richard Barker - Artistic Director or Fisherman Artist?

Most of you who read my blog are very familiar with the name Richard Barker. For the past 20 or so years, he was the head honcho at TCR, our family's primary theater home. He retired just before TCR got hammered by the floods.

Through the magic networking of Facebook, I reconnected with Richard the other day, and found a website of his photographic artistry. Even if you didn't know Richard "back in the day", you should check out his website. He has some really fascinating work, and pricing that makes it affordable for nearly anybody to own:

http://www.imageafterimage.com/

the fun part of politics

One of my students posted this on facebook and I found it amusing. Also, I love the song:

A Matter of the Heart

Did you ever have one of those days when it seemed you couldn't get anywhere on time, no matter how early you got up or how much you rushed? Well, this was one of those mornings.

I'm sure it's because I was worried and nervous. We were taking Harrison to the pediatric cardiologist at 10, and I was trying to prepare myself for the worst while hoping for the best.

Turns out that’s not really my strong suit. I was playing goofy little mind games with myself, thinking “Well, the doctor said she didn’t think there was anything wrong. This is supposed to be just precautionary. So until I hear otherwise, I need to remember he is a strong, healthy little boy”. Somehow, that was not as settling as it should have been. My intuition was distracting me with contrary vibes that told me otherwise. This was going to be a horrible day and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Now, it’s not that I think I’m some kind of psychic or anything. I’m not sure I even believe in all that. But over the years I’ve learned to rely on my intuition. If I expect a call from someone and he doesn’t call that night, it bothers me. Invariably, he’ll call the next day and tell me he’d been about to call before, but then decided to wait until morning. I also have “feelings” about when important people will come into my life, and when they will pass on or otherwise depart. So far I’ve never been truly surprised by major life events, even when everyone else was. I even have a way of sensing when I am about to have car trouble, and I swear it’s before the clunking and grinding noises start.

Of course, I can’t prove any of this, and I don’t care to. But I do heed my “feelings” about things, especially when they are very strong. So when I circled Tuesday on my calendar a few weeks earlier, and felt that unmistakable tingle in the back of my head shoot through my spine and out my toes, there was no way I could relax about The Appointment.

I could have sworn I was hurrying to get ready that morning, but my body seemed to rebel, stretching preparations out as long as possible. Apparently my subconscious had decided I could somehow slow time and bring it to a stand-still if I just paid extra attention to the minutia of the morning. 10 o’clock would never come, and my son would be a healthy and strong, wonderful little boy forever.

It didn’t work. Time charged forward, paying no heed to my growing internal panic. Onward to the daycare. I must have read ten picture books before finally kissing his whole face and telling the teacher I’d be back to pick him up about 9:30. Much as I loved my job and had to get things done before The Appointment, never had I been so unhappy about going to the office. Where were my priorities, to be leaving him here so I could go get a couple hours of work in? What if after The Appointment, our whole world was different? I would never forgive myself for being at the office instead of with my baby.

It’s just for a couple hours. This is no different from yesterday or the day before. No matter what we find out, we have the whole rest of the afternoon to be together. I continued with my mantra all the way to work, chiding myself for the ridiculous melodrama I was turning this into.

If something was seriously wrong, our pediatrician would have told me what she suspected. That’s one reason I like her. She doesn’t pull punches; she tells you kindly but clearly what is or might be wrong. If there’s something to worry about, she lets you know. This time, she told me she detected a slight murmur, but that it was something relatively common in children this age. She just wanted to follow up with a specialist to be sure she was right.

I believed her. Everyone and everything was telling me that most likely, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Harrison. Even the worst-case scenario they were expecting was nothing so terrible in the whole scheme of things. Frequent checkups, maybe some kind of special precautions when going to the dentist. If he has a problem, how lucky to find out now, so it can be addressed and he can go on to have a normal life – rather than have it abruptly cut short later on.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, and I could take the whole afternoon off work, if I wanted to. We had a great day of togetherness ahead of us, and lovely weather to accommodate anything we wanted to do.

So why did I feel as if my own heart was about to stop? Why did I have to struggle to breathe normally and go about my usual routine…but I knew why. Because my intuition is never wrong.

As I pulled my car into the parking lot at work, I paused for a moment of prayer. I wasn't very practiced at it, and I wasn't quite sure how you're supposed to word things. Lord, please help me through this day. (It occurred to me that being self-centered in my prayer might look bad to God) Please be with everyone who is facing similar struggles in their day, (uh-oh better make sure I don't sound ungrateful) and help us realize the great bounty you have blessed us with in our loved ones and the world you have given us to share. (Oh man. Might as well come clean - I mean, this is GOD I'm talking to - not like I'm fooling anyone) Sorry, God - I stink at this. Please forgive my self-centered concerns and worries. I know that all things happen according to your plan, but I'm not so good at remembering that. Please be with me today and help me remember. And if my intuition is finally wrong this time, and everything turns out just fine, please help me remember to treasure Harrison every day through health as well as sickness. Don’t let me go back to taking him – or anyone else that I love - for granted. Please help them know how much they mean, and how important they are on this earth.

Well, I'd managed to keep from trying to barter with God - but I'd still brought myself to tears with the histrionics of my prayers...or maybe it was just my frustrated anxiety.

It was going to be a very bad day. My whole world was about to change, and there was nothing I could do but pray.

* * * * *

In spite of my best efforts to stop time and keep events from moving forward, The Appointment was suddenly upon us.

After an agonizing process of testing and the silent exchange of glances followed by low murmurs and consultations outside the exam room, the doctor informed us that Harrison had “…what we call an ‘innocent murmur’. It shouldn’t cause him any trouble, and he’ll probably outgrow it in a few years.”

As his words sank in, I felt an uncomfortable elation in our good fortune. But I wasn't surprised.

You see, my intuition wasn’t wrong, just misdirected. The TV in the waiting room confirmed it before we even entered an exam room. The South Tower of the World Trade Center had collapsed right before we arrived at the doctor's office.

That afternoon, as I watched my perfectly healthy little boy laughing in the sunshine and enjoying the park, I repeated my prayer of the morning. But this time I prayed for the victims of flights 11, 77, 93, and 175; for the rescue workers who died fighting to save others on that bright September morning which had become clouded with fire, smoke and debris; for the families whose nightmares were just beginning; for the military personnel who would also give their lives in whatever might follow. Then I prayed another prayer that my healthy son would still have a world worth growing up in.

© Copyright 2002 JB Wallace. All rights reserved