Christmas in a (HUGE) Nutshell

Ok, far too busy to write anything readable, so thought a slideshow would do for now - here's our Christmas (so far) in pictures:

Ho-Ho-Hoedown!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Walkin' in a Boogey Wonderland

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My sister-in-law had the genius idea of posting her Christmas letter to her blog. Since I never get my letter completed and mailed before the New Year (if at all), I decided to follow her lead.

I've been terribly disappointed in myself for not getting our wedding thank-you's completed and mailed, so you'll see references to that in the letter I'm posting here. Hopefully they WILL come out, even if not until our first anniversary (Pray it doesn't come to that!)

As usual, whenever I have a chance to sit down and play catch up, something else slams into our lives, and concerns of etiquette continually take a back seat to real life. Most recently it was the late night phone call last Friday, informing us that Julio's host parents, the Vauthrins, had been in a car accident which totalled their car. They walked away from the accident, but his host father, Lloyd (age 88) is scheduled for shoulder surgery on December 23, so we took that as a wake up call that we needed to make visiting them a priority.

We took the three day weekend we'd set aside to finish up our Christmas preparations (including Christmas letter/wedding thank-you's), and instead we made the 9 hour trip out to Nebraska. It was well worth the change in plans. We had a wonderful visit and got to meet their adopted daughter, Chris, and her family while we were there. We were also able to be there to provide moral support when Chris learned that her oldest son, Tyler (who lives with his father), has an inoperable brain tumor.

So anyway, here's the initial draft of what may or may not go out as our Christmas 2008 letter, (as it was when we got the late night call from Nebraska that sparked our last-minute trip):

Happy Holidays! At the end of April, when I said our wedding thank-you’s probably wouldn’t be done until they had to go out with our Christmas letters, I was joking at the time! Those of you who know me best probably knew better!

We did manage a lovely wedding, in spite of my emergency eye surgery at the end of March, and my primary focus directing the Spring play, which closed just 2 weeks before the wedding. Not to mention the contractors who were working until two days before, repairing ceiling damage from a leaky roof and clearing away huge tree limbs that were victims of the remarkably harsh 2007/08 winter weather.

Immediately after the wedding we went on a “familymoon” to Chicago with Julio’s father (“Abuelito”) and my parents (and Harrison, of course!) After a whirlwind tour of every sight we could squeeze into three days (Sears Tower, Shedd Aquarium, Chinatown, Museum of Science & Industry, Museum of Natural History, Adler Planetarium, and the Field Museum), we saw Abuelito off at the airport and raced up to Minnesota to meet my newborn niece, Anna. She was born just before our wedding, so Mom and Dad were “chomping at the bit” to get their first look at her ~ as were we!

Harrison finished his last few weeks of 4th grade at Kenwood elementary, where he continues to participate in the Program for Academic and Creative Talent (“PACT”), and started playing soccer with team Wolverines. Julio resumed work at Pearson in Iowa City, refereeing Harrison’s soccer games on weekends. Meanwhile, I had just three rehearsals to pull together the first annual Debbie Harms Memorial Benefit Concert, which took place on May 10, the one-year anniversary of Bobbi’s death, and what would have been her 57th birthday. Our cousin, Liz Varnum donated a beautiful handmade quilt that helped us raise thousands of dollars for a memorial scholarship fund.

As school wrapped up, we prepared for another summer of full-time daycare fun (field trips, activities, swimming and, naturally, shooting a Zombie movie written and directed by Harrison).

The melting snows of the harsh winter returned in the form of flooded rivers and torrential rain, causing unheard of damage in Cedar Rapids. We were blessed to have only groundswell in our basement, which forced us to throw out a lot of things we shouldn’t have been storing in the first place. If only everyone had fared so well! The theaters I grew up in (TCR and the Paramount) were ruined, as were most of our cultural landmarks and favorite fieldtrip destinations.

Sadly, as the floods were receding, our family experienced another heartbreaking loss with the passing of Mom’s cousin, Tom, which was all the more difficult because we lost him just months before the wedding of his son, Chuck, and daughter-in-law-to-be, Grace.

Summer flew by in a blur, as we coordinated the neighborhood 4th of July potluck, and later the Kid’s Carnival at the neighborhood pool. We enjoyed joining Chuck and Grace at their late-summer couple’s shower, which led the way to their lovely October wedding. We also discovered the monthly “public night” at the Eastern Iowa Observatory, where we’ve learned about the Milky Way, Jupiter, Star Clusters, and the Science of Star Trek, among other things.

School was back in session before we knew it, and while Harrison’s class had a difficult time with the new 5th grade teacher and her less-than-stellar student teacher, Julio’s work intensified, causing him to work longer hours than usual.

Harrison’s unpleasant classroom situation pulled me into doing more volunteer work at the school, starting a reward program for students who achieve certain classroom goals. When the reward program was combined with specials, recess and the PACT program, things started looking up for Harrison and his classmates.

The fall musical, Bye Bye Birdie, was fraught with setbacks, but as with other roadblocks of the year, we overcame them thanks to the dedication and hard work of a great group of volunteers. It was over just in time for us to prepare our home to host the annual Shaffer Thanksgiving Extravaganza, though I admit I was sidetracked by preparations for the upcoming speech season.

We actually managed to hang our Christmas lights before the cold weather struck this year, and rehearsals have been snowed out just often enough for us to get our Christmas trees up, but not completely decorated yet.

A couple weeks ago, we added a new family member: a one-year old dog we call Zuki (short for Azucar, which is Spanish for Sugar, the name she had when we adopted her). She is a beautiful dog who came from a shelter in Iowa City, where they guessed her to be part Collie, and possibly part Samoyed and Golden Retriever. We never entertained any hope of finding a dog like Yuxia, so you can imagine our amazement that Zuki is almost exactly the same in personality and temperament that Yuxia was at her age. She’s our Christmas miracle in another year filled with opportunities to seek a silver lining.

We hope this holiday greeting finds you and your family enjoying all the blessings of the season, and we thank you all again for your love and support throughout our long-time-in-coming, long-time-before-being-thanked nuptial process!

Celebrating Dad

photo by Harrison

My Dad is another year older today, and doesn't it just figure for men that another year older is an accomplishment to celebrate rather than (as for us women) another step further from youth!

My brothers and I agree that of all our friends growing up, we had the coolest Dad. He performed in shows with us - at TCR as well as at the high school. He was one of the few parents who could hang out with me and my friends and not feel like a chaperone (which made him a top-notch chaperone!)

Dad taught me some awesome steps when I had to choreograph partnering dance moves for show choir. For some reason, many people are surprised to find out he's a great dancer. I remember jaws dropping when he joined the younger members of the Big River cast during the clogging section of the finale. More recently, when we were having an impromptu salsa lesson in the living room, Julio was so amazed at Dad's grace, he blurted out "Why Grampa, you're a feather!"

As the boys and I were growing up, Dad never missed a performance or game, whether we were soloists/superstars or just in the chorus/warming the bench. Dad was always there cheering us on and making sure we had every opportunity he could provide.

When I was in college and called home upset about one or another of my young-adult heartbreaks, I knew I could count on Dad to say "put your feet in first position", dredging up memories of an old Hallmark ad - and making me laugh and cry simultaneously. Then he would quickly say "let me hand you over to your mother", unless the problem was something that actually could be fixed, in which case he would always have a solution.

Naturally, his superior parenting skills have carried over into his role as "G-Boy". Dad and Harrison are "best buds", and have already built a lifetime worth of golden memories together. G-boy is always good for a living room wrestling match, or a Playstation Showdown. In the summertime, all the neighborhood kids shout "Yay! Grampa's coming swimming" the minute they see him making his way down the hill to the neighborhood pool. Dad & Harrison went to Bear Scouts Camp, butterfly tagging, and they've recently taken up fishing (in summertime, that is). They've worked on countless projects, from sewing handpuppets to building pinewood derby cars, from gardening to whittling.

I could go on about my awesome Dad forever, but I've got to get Brownies out of the oven and wrap his gifts so we can go celebrate with him in person. So for now, I'll end with this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! You're the best Dad any kid could ever ask for, and the best G-Boy, too!

Some Scenes from Today

Creche in Daylight

Homework Time

through the laundry room window

Zuki waits on the landing

Equal Rights - not just a skin tone issue

Today I am "calling in Gay". I am not going to spend a penny or participate in commerce in any fashion. This is a movement to demonstrate solidarity with those who are seeking to have the same rights to marry that many of us take for granted.

My cousin Kate & her spouse, Trish, spent yesterday at a hearing before the Iowa Supreme Court, fighting for their right to be recognized as married.

It sickens me that in this "new millenium" such a travesty of justice is even still going on. I just can't understand the objections. We're not talking about forcing churches to perform the ceremonies, and it's not like there are a bunch of people in straight marriages who will "jump ship and go gay" if only the law were changed. In fact, legalizing gay marriage will make absolutely NO difference for anybody except those who are already living as married couples, but without the rights and legal protections they deserve, simply because their spouse is of the same gender.

Why do people who label themselves as Christians (I don't expect to meet any of these people in my heaven!) continue to battle so vehemently against this one group of humans, claiming they are "defending" marriage in the interest of "our children", yet they don't make a peep about divorce or out-of-wedlock childbirth, or people who choose not to get married, because let's face it, there are a lot of financial advantages to staying single?

The fact that they have chosen to single out homosexuals, and turn a blind eye to other lifestyle choices which do far more damage to the "institution" they claim to be defending is proof that they are simply behaving in an ignorant and homophobic manner. How ridiculous! How pathetic! How sad that there are so many of them. Really, how frightening.

I have a lot more to say on the issue, but sadly, the people who will understand my writing are not the ones who need to be convinced. You can't use logic to reason against the illogical excuses of the unreasonable.

It's BEGINNING to look a lot like...

...I am out of my mind.

When we moved into our new house, I was concerned about how we would decorate for Christmas. I'd spent my adult years as an apartment dweller, and Julio never had done much to decorate his own small abodes. So we weren't overflowing with decorations in the first place, and what little we did have looked chincy in our considerably larger and lovelier new home. - Not to mention the fact that, when he was about 4, Harrison had done an acrobatic leap from the arm of the sofa to the center of the sofa, catapulting himself from there directly into the Christmas tree (you know how this looked if you've seen "Elf" starring Will Farrell). From that point forward, we had to lean the tree in a corner or it wouldn't stand on its own.

Julio & I decided that our first Christmas gift to each other in our new home would be specially selected Christmas decorations. We planned and shopped, "designed" and shopped, and spent more than I thought we would, but I was happy with the results. About the same time, Mom and Dad down-/up-graded from their big lush artificial tree to one that was smaller but pre-lit and easily assembled and easier to store. We had room to store their big one, and it was the perfect size for our vaulted-ceiling living room. My friend Sandy, hearing that my original (and much smaller and cheaper) tree was broken, gave us a similar (nicer and not broken) tree she used at work before moving to Singapore. Then at an after-Christmas sale last year, I found replacement parts for the broken tree for only a couple dollars. Add to these three trees the small kid's tree I got for Harrison's room about 8 years ago, and we now have 4 Christmas trees. That may seem excessive to most sane Christians, but they've all become indispensable for us.

The large beautiful tree is a critical centerpiece for our main living room. It holds our "best brand new" ornaments that we got when we moved here, and whenever we are able to assemble the largest possible group of Harms family members, we hang memorial bows on it, in a tradition started by Nana after Opa passed away.

The small kid's tree is the only one with the old-fashioned multi-colored lights, and the home-made, fun and funky ornaments that remind me of my childhood.

The tree Sandy gave us now stands on the upper level landing. It is decorated in purple and silver, with angel ornaments. On Christmas Eve, Mom and Dad join us and we each add an angel ornament that used to belong to Nana, in honor of Nana and all of our loved ones who are no longer with us (like the Bows on the red-decorated tree, except we do this every Christmas Eve, with whoever is there with us that evening).

In our living room by the bay window, we have what has been dubbed "the Bobbi tree". It is ornamented in silver, white and gold, with collars Bobbi kept from all her pets, and handmade ornaments crafted from a bunch of pet tags (rabies vaccination tags, etc.) she also kept. The finishing touch on this tree are ornaments Mom made: small framed photos of all the family pets. A framed picture of Bobbi hangs near the tree top, as if she is looking out for all her "critters" and the rest of us who always depended on her.

We are not quite finished with our decorating, but we do have all four trees assembled, and the Bobbi tree is pretty well decorated. The next few posts will include more pictures as our progress continues.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other

Happy Holidays! Had to have something that's ok for the kiddies to watch!!!

Prop 8 - The Musical

NOTE: this is a clever video, but not for kids.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Oh Yeah - About Thanksgiving

With all the dog news, I overlooked the semi-requisite recap of our Thanksgiving Holiday festivities! Thursday we followed our since-we-moved-into-our-house tradition of dining on Hy-Vee catered prime rib. We didn't have extra guests this year, though, because our friends Ben & Karen scored us 5 tickets to the Sound of Music preview performance at TCR Lindale. A pretty large scale production to produce on a makeshift stage, but they pulled it off (due in no small part to the brilliant scenic design of my friend Bret).

Mike Wilhelm (Captain VonTrapp), Amy Friedl Stoner (Maria), Heather Harris Akers (Frau Schroeder) & Kids from TCR's Sound of Music

Unfortunately, Dad got sick during the first act and Julio took him home at intermission, so he didn't get to see the second act. Mom and the rest of us went home for pie after the show, then we all hit the sack.

Friday was our frantic house-cleaning day, in preparation for the annual Shaffer Thanksgiving blowout, hosted by my parents using our house as the "venue". This year we were expecting anywhere from 15 to 35 people (I think we landed at about 27 who actually attended). It's a stressful time, but that's what it takes to get me to excavate our house once a year, so it's well worth it! Not to mention how nice it is to have everybody together at least once a year.

It was especially rewarding this year, as John was able to bring his entire family (weren't sure they were going to be able to come, because Karen had to work that day - but they sacrificed sleep to be here), and Jason and family were here for several days, which gave us a chance to reconnect with their adorable kids. Ben impressed us all with his amazing agility - if you didn't know he'd just had spinal surgery 10 days prior, you'd never have guessed. He was moving around like a champ, and did a great job keeping up with the 10 year olds as well as the 3 and 4 year olds (he was also a great sport about being the only 6 year old in attendance).

Unfortunately I was so tired this year, I didn't get the full experience - spent most of the time trying to stay awake but it was all a blur (the stuff dreams are made of...I think...) So my memories are fuzzy - but I do recall snapping some photos. Here are a few of them: